5 Ways to Feel More Empowered and less anxious During Pregnancy 🌿

Birth can be beautiful, complicated, or both — and feeling empowered matters. Whether it's due to past experiences or current political fears, you deserve to feel safe and supported during your pregnancy and postpartum experience. These five research-informed strategies by a licensed counselor certified in perinatal mental health can help you prepare for birth with a plan for better support, confidence, and hopefully a better sense of control — even in uncertain or high-risk situations.

1. Choose a Trauma-Informed Obgyn Provider (If Possible)

Pregnancy is a major medical event and it's important that you feel that you're in capable hands that have your best interest at heart. You have every right to interview and ask your medical providers questions to make sure you feel like you can trust that they will do their best to protect you.

A few Questions to Ask:

• Experience: Ask about their experience with labor and delivery, their philosophy on natural childbirth, cultural competency and their approach to pain management.

• Ask if they have preferred induction method, C-section rates, working with doulas (if you have one) and how they approach and respond to potential complications.

• How do they handle and be aware of unconscious bias when it comes to race, sexuality and class? (Black and Indigenous women are 3x more likely to die during childbirth). Black and Hispanic women are less likely to receive appropriate pain medication.

• How do you involve patients and their partners in decisions?

• What is your current relationship with the law and any restrictions? Are you prepared and willing to do what I need for my body and safety despite the law?

• What does informed consent look like to you during emergencies?

• What do you do when there's mental health concerns such as anxiety or depression?

  
  

Feeling seen, safe, respected and advocated for by your provider reduces the risk of trauma, especially in high-stress moments and getting the appropriate support and services. This is American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, ACOG, statement on abortion policy. It is recommended to know the legal, discrimination, worker, lactation and abortion protections and rights.

Note: Great providers and obgyn offices should be open and responsive to your questions, concerns and desires. You are entitled to ask for what you need to feel safe in this monumental life event. It speaks volumes when/if providers, hospitals or offices are avoidant of questions or defensive. If possible, choose providers who are open, honest, confident that you know your body best and have thoughtful answers to your questions.

2. Create a Birth Preferences Sheet

This is not about controlling every detail — it’s about sharing what helps you feel safe and supported.

Things to Include:

• Your preferences for touch and communication (consent and explanations before they check for dilation, ask permission and explain options and choices)

• Coping tools and options you want offered (music, movement, dim lights, essential oils)

• Support people and their roles (partner, doula, advocate). Who do you want with you and helping you, if needed, to make medical decisions on your behalf.

• Pelvic Floor Therapy, say it louder for those in the back! Other countries outside the U.S. have it as a standard to have a pelvic floor therapist work with the mom to help her with healing, the pelvic floor and improve recovery outcomes. Ask to be assessed at your hospital postpartum. This can cut down on months and years of pain and increase healing and recovery. Click here to learn more about pelvic floor therapy.

• If there was an emergency, ICU and NICU stay- ask the birthing center or hospital what policies and procedures they have in place and write down your options. Can you stay with your baby or could they discharge one of you early?

• If you'd like to breastfeed would they keep baby with you, in a different part of the hospital or a different floor. Do they offer lactation consultants, meditation/breathing coaching, breast pumps and/or a nursery?

3. Build Your Support System in Advance

Let someone close to you know:

• What helps you feel calm when overwhelmed (deep breaths, a hug, 5 senses, space)

• What phrases do and don’t help ("I'm here with you" versus “You’re fine” or “Don’t be scared”)

• How to advocate if you’re too overwhelmed to speak or having someone to advocate on your behalf.

Doulas and trauma-trained birth professionals can play an important advocacy role here. If hiring a doula is financially challenging, add a doula fund to your baby registry and/or seek out Doulas in training (under qualified trained doulas. For example, In Joy Birth in Orlando, FL has a great budget friendly doulas in training option. A trauma-informed doula can be the best investment during pregnancy and postpartum.

4. Have a Mental Health Professional on Your Team

Pregnancy and birth can stir up anxiety, fear, past trauma, or unexpected grief. Postpartum Support International has a provider search tool to find counselors who are trained and certified in perinatal mental health. The website also offers a 24/7 helpline, chat line, resources and a multitude of free support groups. When seeking out a provider, look for the PMH-C credential which stands for Certified in Perinatal Mental Health.

They can:

• Help you prepare and process fears, anxiety or trauma before birth and postpartum. Heal from any past traumas or losses and navigate the transformative time of pregnancy and postpartum.

• Support you if there are ICU, NICU stays, losses, grief, maternal near-misses, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.

• Offer and go over tools for helping the body feel safer, improving emotion regulation, empowerment and partner communication, connection and advocacy.

5. Plan for Postpartum Healing — Emotionally & Physically

Don't wait until after birth to get support in place.

Prepare:

• A list of trauma-informed resources (mental health, lactation, postpartum doulas, pelvic PT, chiropractors, obgyn, night nurses)

• Be aware of and have your partner, family and friends be aware of the symptoms of pregnancy and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. PMAD's impact both women, birthing people and partners. Click here to learn more about pmad's.

• A few backup support people who can show up for meals, support, cleaning, sleep, childcare, or listening

• A realistic “rest and recovery” rhythm — even if it’s 20 minutes a day. Prioritize sleep and rest. Others can and should step in to allow for mother, birthing person and baby bonding and healing.

• If you like reading, prepare yourself with pregnancy and postpartum books and resources. A list of top books are offered here.

  
  

💬 Final Note:

You can’t control every aspect of birth, but you can build a circle of support that makes you feel held, informed, and less alone. You are not asking for too much. You are advocating for yourself — and that’s a powerful act of parenting.

Looking for support with fear or wanting to feel more empowered?

Tiffany Lowther, LMHC, PMH-C provides compassionate, trauma-informed counseling in Orlando, Winter Park and throughout Central Florida. With specialties in EMDR therapy, perinatal (pregnancy and postpartum) mental health, trauma, ptsd and anxiety treatment, Tiffany offers both in-person and HIPAA-compliant virtual sessions.

👉 Ready to take the next step? Schedule a session or free 15-minute consultation today.